The New York Times

from Straight Outta Outta Darkness (2018) by Weird Alma

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lyrics

THE NEW YORK TIMES
Parody of "New York, New York" by Frank Sinatra

See: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/new-york-times-thomas-monson-obituary_us_5a5510aae4b003133ecd2246

Start shreddin' the news
We won't read, anyway
But we still need to pounce on it,
The New York Times

They gave us the blues
When they dared to say
True things that President Monson did,
The New York Times

We want a paper from a city
Far from Idaho
To have the same worship for
our church CEO

We just can't excuse
This heartless display
Let's start a petition denouncin' it;
The New York Times

If we just speak with rage
Maybe they'll change that page
Let's pray they do
The New York Times

The New York Times

They said our prophet
disenfranchised women and gays
And since he's our number-one
We should stand behind
Whatever he did
And not get butthurt

But still we choose
To be offended today
If I had a subscription I'd be renouncin' it
The New York Times

We're not supposed to care what the world may think
But we're still gonna make a real big stink
So poo on you The New York Times