Written and Performed by Weird Alma
Parody of "Paperback Writer" by The Beatles
See also: http://www.mormonthink.com/book-of-mormon-problems.htm#didntexist
Dear Mormons, wait, before you leave the pews
I have an article in the Deseret News
It explains how back in ancient Nephite times
They didn't have horses, so they had to be tapirback riders
It might be hard for you to get this thing
It's an explanation known as "loan shifting"
Joseph didn't know what a tapir was
So he said they rode horses,
but they really all were tapirback riders
You might be thinking something isn't right
Was the Book of Mormon translation loose or tight?
If cureloms, cumoms, and senines are words
Then why couldn't Joseph just have used the term "tapirback riders?"
I warn you, that sounds like apostasy
I have PHDs, so you should trust in me
It will all make sense if you believe it's true
If you have any questions, look my up, my name is TapirDan Writer