Tapirback Rider

from Straight Outta Cumorah (2017) by Weird Alma

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Written and Performed by Weird Alma
Parody of "Paperback Writer" by The Beatles

See also: http://www.mormonthink.com/book-of-mormon-problems.htm#didntexist

Tapirback rider

Dear Mormons, wait, before you leave the pews
I have an article in the Deseret News
It explains how back in ancient Nephite times
They didn't have horses, so they had to be tapirback riders
Tapirback rider

It might be hard for you to get this thing
It's an explanation known as "loan shifting"
Joseph didn't know what a tapir was
So he said they rode horses,
but they really all were tapirback riders
Tapirback rider

Tapirback rider

You might be thinking something isn't right
Was the Book of Mormon translation loose or tight?
If cureloms, cumoms, and senines are words
Then why couldn't Joseph just have used the term "tapirback riders?"
Tapirback rider

I warn you, that sounds like apostasy
I have PHDs, so you should trust in me
It will all make sense if you believe it's true
If you have any questions, look my up, my name is TapirDan Writer
TapirDan Writer

Tapirback rider
TapirDan Writer


from Straight Outta Cumorah (2017), released November 7, 2017
Weird Alma: lead jug




Weird Alma Walla Walla, Washington

What do you get when you combine an ExMormon with a singer/songwriter/humorist/parodist? An ExMormon singer-songwriter humorist parodist. Duh.

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