Mormon, if you feel you are drawn
To a calling where you can tattle on
Other Mormons, then fix your gaze upon
This assignment we have for you
Mormon, you will search on the net
For apostates, who could become a threat
Then you’ll tell us, and be happy to be
In the Strengthening Church Members Committee
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
You can help us make all disobedience cease
In the LDS Thought Police
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
You can see everything other members do bad
You might even rat out your Dad
Mormon, if you see a new meme
By a Mormon, and it happens to seem
Controversial or a little extreme
Then you must report it to us
We will take that info and go
To their bishop, so he’ll be in-the-know
That apostates are outside in the hall
No, this is not cultish at all
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
You'll be serving the Lord, really making your mark
As a stoolpigeon ratfink narc
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
You can point out the ones who have questioned out loud
Big Brother will be so proud
Mormon, at the end of your days
Know that God will honor you with great praise
'Cause you snitched on intellectuals and gays
Who would share their thoughts on Facebook
We can't have our members discuss
All the things that reflect poorly on us
Like the fact that we will spy on them, so
We must spy on them to see what they know
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
Inform on your friends, tell us all that they do
We'll have others inform on you
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
If John Dehlin farts or Denver Snuffer drinks wine
You will call us on our hotline
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
You'll have plenty of work as a Latter-day mole
Help us stay in complete control
It’s fun to work for the SCMC
It’s fun to work for the SCMC, etc.
