Revelation (Nelson-Style)
Parody of "Revolution" by the Beatles

(Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, kicking off the first stop on his world tour, our new president and prophet, Russell M. Nelson!)
(girls screaming)

You say you want some revelation
Well, here you go-
It’s gonna blow your frickin’ mind
It’s crucial for the world’s salvation
So, here you go-
High Priests and Elders are combined
(Dude 1: Whoa!)
(Dude 2: Wow!)

They come from different generations
But I’m sure they’ll get along just fine
And I know there will never be a fight
(Fogey: The Earth is 6,000 years old!)
(Youngin’: No, it’s billions of years old!)
They won’t fight
(Fogey: Darn those gays to heck!)
(Youngin’: We need to love our gay brothers and sisters!)
They'll never fight
(Fogey snoring)
(Youngin': I'm outta here, Grampa.)
(Fogey: What? What?)

You say you want some revelation
Well, now you know-
The Home Teaching program soon will end
(Dude 1: Oh, and I was gonna do mine this month!)
(Dude 2: No, you weren't.)
(Dude 1: Yeah, you're right. I wasn't.)
Never mind that that was revelation
A long time ago
We’re holier than they were then

Home Teaching’s replacement will be very much the same
With a little less guilt and a mainstream Christian name-
“Ministering”

Don’t you know that it’s gonna be alright
(Dude 1: “So what do you think of this new Ministering program?”)
(Dude 2: “Eh, it’s alright.”)
Alright
(Dude 1: “Yeah, I guess it’s alright.”)
(Dude 2: "It's alright.")
Alright

Here follows the collected revelations of Heber J. Grant, George Albert Smith, David O. McKay, Joseph Fielding Smith, Harold B. Lee, Ezra Taft Benson, Howard W. Hunter, Gordon B. Hinckley, and Thomas S. Monson...
(crickets)
That is all.

You say you want some revelation
Well, you know-
Seven temples were announced
(Dude 2: A temple in Russia?)
(Dude 1: In Soviet Russia, temple goes to you!)
We want you to make more donations
So then, you know-
A list of new temples totally counts

We’re growing like crazy, at least so it must appear
And you’re led by a prophet, revelator, and a seer
(Dude 1: Really? Who?)
(Dude 2: President Nelson!)
(Dude 1: Oh. Right.)

Don’t you know that it’s gonna be alright
(Dude 2: "A temple in Layton? It's about time!")
Alright
(Dude 1: "Now we don't have to drive all the way to Ogden.")
Alright

Don't you know that it's gonna be alright
The apostles just got a little bit less white
All of our alibis gonna be airtight (for the coverups)
Please don’t make a movie about us like Spotlight (that was hard-hitting)
I’ve gotta go dedicate another new temple site (for all of our members in India!)

(Smashing noises)
(Dude 1: Whoa, is President Nelson smashing his guitars like Jimi Hendrix?)
(Dude 2: No, he's smashing bottles of alcohol.)
(Dude 1: Well, that's still pretty "rock star.")
(Dude 2: Not when they're full.)