ODE TO PROPHET JOE
Parody of "Ode to Billy Joe" by Bobbie Gentry.

See also: http://hartbrad.blogspot.com/2017/10/the-critics-claim-rebuttal-of-tad.html

It was the first of October,
another sleepy General Conference day
I had to watch it with my family
who was visitin' from far away
I made it through the morning session,
didn't care what they were squawkin' about
But then I heard a talk later
made me want to poke my eardrums out
I thought, I gotta find a baseball bat
to smash this stupid TV with
When I heard silly ol' Tad Callister
go off defendin' Joseph Smith

So Tad said to the members,
from that great and spacious conference stage
Well, Prophet Joe never had a lick of brains,
and he was of too young an age
Too many names and places, stories and events
he couldn't make up himself
And all those books the Book of Mormon rips off
were never on his shelf
By the time his talk was over,
I knew I would need to drink a fifth
When I heard silly ol' Tad Callister
go off defendin' Joseph Smith

Now we all know that the prophet Joe
was brilliant and as sly as a fox
But when needed for apologists,
well, he was dumber than a box of rocks
And he never had those books, but wait,
didn't he read the first chapter of James?
Oliver's preacher wrote View of the Hebrews,
Anthon's dictionary had those names
He had the opportunity and time
and talent to create that myth
But still that silly ol' Tad Callister
goes off defendin' Joseph Smith